i have finally made up my mind about the job offer but i am not ready to tell you. yet.

aren´t you supposed to feel good about finally having made a decision? isn´t this supposed to be kind of liberating at least?

well i can tell you it is not for me. i feel like shit although i am very sure i have made the right decision. strange.

maybe i need much more help than i thought.

two things are for sure: it is not going to be moscow and it is also not going to be cologne.

had a talk with the potential new boss today yesterday. a long and detailed talk to be exact. have to admit that his offer now is more tempting then ever: i can choose where i want to have my main base of operation as long as it is pretty close to a major railway station or/and an airport.

right now it takes about an hour to get to the hamburg airport or main railway station, so i would not have to move right away, but...

i could also move to hamburg, or to berlin, or to frankfurt, or to more or less any other major city in germany. tempting... very tempting.

however i still am not an inch closer to making a dicision on if i am really going to take this job or not, so i guess i will just have to take one step at a time.

anyway, today and tomorrow i have a ton of work to do but then i am going to spend a great four day holiday weekend with my sisters and her family, because entertaining my nephew (11) and my niece (14) is what i really do best!

what is this madness with companies offering me two yummie jobs within a less than two weeks period? is this a secret conspiration to drive me insane? if it is, you people surely know how to do your job! argh!

this weeks potential new job would be in germany (hm... not as exotic as russia but i could live with that), probably in the cologne area (never lived there but have heard good things about it), working for a company i have known for several years (plus i know they have the cash to afford me) and for a quite capable and cool boss that has known me and my work for several years now (and by the way is one of the few people on this planet who have earned my trust - at least on business grounds).

the downside? huh... not sure. it´s a more or less standard sales guy job. new product, selling into a pretty defined market with a yet to be developed strategy. nothing i haven´t done before. looks like a huge amount of cash for not that much work. looks also like it would be boring after 6 months. probably earlier. maybe i should call a former colleague and do him (and me) a favour?

on the other hand: if they would allow me to open a small office in lets say hamburg (?) or berlin (?) and work from there? that would surely make me think about it.

but would i be willing to give up the current job? i like my current job. not every day, but that would be the same with every other job (i guess). i like the company too. i like the fact that i can more or less tumble from home to work and back while smoking one single cigarette. i like that cute little office i am sitting in (that is when i am sitting in it and not hovering from meeting to meeting with bosses brand new car). lots of nice things here...

this is just great. i definitely need more advice from strangers. help! heeeelp! help now motherf*ckers! *stompstompstomp*


oh and on another, personal note:

yes i have read your text message, but i was busy sorting out these "job decision thingies" and needed to immediately drop asleep afterwards. my answer (if i would have called you) would have been: if you want it, just buy it and i will pay for it. no big deal. ok? :) [sorry everybody else - was too lazy to type this as a text message.]

if you would be looking at my cv you would probably notice that i have changed jobs round about every two years. mostly because my services where no longer really needed or because i simply wanted to do something new and exciting or because the company i was working for was lead by an idiot boss who drove it into the ground.

i am with my current employer almost 1 1/2 years now and my notice period is 6 months so i figured it is kind of time to give this some thought, as today i have received an excellent offer to work for a german company in moscow starting the 1st of january next year.

moscow... this really would be some adventure, wouldn´t it? on the other hand - my current employer could really take off with his new product and i might be able to make a few extra bucks (which would do wonders for my account), so what am i supposed to do at age 39 when facing a decision regarding adventure contra money?

do i want to play it safe, balance my account (be without debt for the first time in two decades) and perhaps even start a family? or is my lust for the unkown still strong enough to take over?

to be honest i do not have even the slightest idea what to do. for the first time in my life that is. i clearly need advice from strangers.

i am not sure if it is just me, but i always found it extremly exertive to discover good, well written, interesting blogs that really are worth reading.

now i really do not mind the language the blog is written in (as long as it is either german or english), the gender of the blogger or even the topics that are covered, but nevertheless most of the blogs i start reading bore me to death after a couple of weeks, days or posts. boring people writing about boring things using boring choice of words... how (obviously) boring is that?

it is not that i mind a little structure in life. not at all! look at my life, which is kind of boring. i get up every day and do my routines: triple s in the morning, then food, then work, then food, then work, then home, then private stuff (which includes food), then sleep and we´re back at the triple s part. more or less.

boring? yes, sometimes. but i like it that way. throw in a little travelling, a few customer meetings outside the office and at least a dozend of unsuccessfull diets and you have a pretty good idea of what i have been doing the last decades. (except for the private stuff of course, which is none of your business anyway.)

do i want to read about that? no sir. unless it is well put, as then even the most boring life is kind of fun to keep track of. thus my question to you is: where do i find these blogs? intelligent people blogging about stuff every 2nd or 3rd day. not too much text to read please, as that bores me as well. short, yummie, intelligent. kind of like i prefer my women... except for the short part.

any suggestions?