...why the king and a kitchen roll are more or less the same thing:


5. we´re only extremly useful if you unwrap us.

4. we can both absorb large quantities of fluids.

3. we both come in big, tall and round packages.

2. we´re usually both pretty close to where the mess is.

1. and we´re both thick and thirsty.


(isn´t it amazing how creative a hangover can be?)

...why young women should seek out big older tall men:

5. a botm (= big old tall man) will never run away, because we really cannot run that good. but even if we do run away, we would - for obvious reasons - not get very far.

4. we do provide a natural source of heat during the winter (think about going to bed without ever having to worry about those cold feet again) and lots of shade during the summer.

3. most of us are either excellent cooks or love to wine and dine. or even both - how great is that?

2. we do have an integrated bodygard function that will allow you to get into any club/restaurant/bar without hassle, as nobody would voluntarily seek trouble with a cute young girl accompanied by a walking mountain.

1. most of us will die young and leave you with a house, a car and a substancial life insurance, so you can have fun, fun, fun aftewards.

thus my advice is: go get one as long as we are still available because as soon as word of mouth has gotten around we´re probably all booked.